How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
