He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
