Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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