Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize