I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
