new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
