do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
