what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize