Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
