just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
