i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize