just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
