She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
