They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
