I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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