my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
