omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
