No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
