Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
