Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
