Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Randomize
