how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
