I want to walk on stilts...naked
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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