You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Randomize
