I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dear god my vagina.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
