Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
