Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
