He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
All I want is dick and wine.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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