how can u be prego again
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
