I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
