I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
