She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
