it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize