foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Still dying that you shit outside
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
