Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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