Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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