i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
