i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
