am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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