She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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