There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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