you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
