it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
