He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
