It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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