Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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