just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
