He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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