whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
This house was built for laser tag.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
