I think i peed on brittanys purse
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
