found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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