should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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