A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
