Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
