I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
