If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize