I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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