she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize