You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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