You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
