can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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