went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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